Sunday, June 15, 2008

Living only for God

One question that always pop up in my mind now days.....
Who am i living for ?
MYSELF??
MY FAMILY??
MY GIRLFRIEND??
MY FRIENDS??
Or.....

GOD.....


It has been a draining, frustrating and tiring week for me. So many things and events, UNEXPECTED and UNFORTUNATE events happen in my life... For the 1st time in my life... .i thought i am dead for sure... Firstly, most of you know that I'm a lazy person to start with, anything i will say don't care la and etc etc.... well this kind of attitude of mind kinda bother me for quite a time... knowing that my major exam that is STPM is just around the corner only and i am still slacking around as if the exam is not gonna come for another hundred years.... well gotta do something bout it haha... but still thinking how... lame =(


Secondly, just recently my nose allergy just went into a critical state.. where my nose will just bleed all it wants and it wont stop bleeding at times until i have to stuck my nostrils will tissue paper... arghhh it so frustrating man... so i went to see the doctor right away... and the doctor just told me if the allergy goes into a more critical condition i may have to go through a nose operation ... and what he said really freaked me out... honestly it was the 1st time i got so afraid and i did all the things that the doctor told me to......


Thirdly, its something to do with my relationship life.... well been having a quite CLOSE relationship with a friend of mine.... but not bf gf ... well thing between me and her was so good all this while... we did not force or rush or anything... but then when things just gotten so good .... it just falls apart.. just like that .... (dun wanna elaborate how and what happen between me n her..*PNC*) well it kinda gimme a smack of reality somehow.... and knowing that nothing ever goes smoothly and i want it to be all the time .... well haha that my life .. what can i do bout it.....


Well what's the relation of who am i living for and what i have said? well it relates a lot... somehow... all this while i kinda abandon God in my life... though having so many problems all i do is just complain and complain... and it is just so pointless... is not like by complaining we can get back the things we want... is only by taking actions that will make a difference.... and by knowing this fact... kinda got some revelation that i wanna share with other people.....
Recently, i realize that my spiritual life isn't going that well... so i''ve decided to do something with it ... by changing my lifestyle and have God in my picture no matter what i do... but then things somehow just gotten worst.... all the problems not only did not get solve but then it turn out to be more worst.. and at one point i just felt like giving up everything.. .i mean everything.... but then something just strike me ....
Somehow i realize that... my habit of complaining comes in again, that kinda wake me up and let me realize that all this while i did nothing to make things go easy in my life... i've been bragging about it only... but after that i changed my mind set.... somehow just felt that God told me something.... life is just like the ocean... waves go up and down all the time... and sometimes it is as calm as u can ever imagine but sometimes it will be so rough.... but in all this thing... never once forget bout God.... cause all this happened under his will.. in our lives there are always outcomes the will bring us down... but in one point... we have to put God in the picture all the time...is because of him we are who we are now... and there is always a reason to the things when God just allows it to happen....

All this while I've been blinded by my emotions and also my feelings.... and because of that i couldn't see what is God doing in my life... but now i understand what he is doing.... all this trials that i'm facing, he is just trying to make me stronger and having more faith in him.. .and that's what i'm going to do.... I will not give up on God no matter what the outcomes are.... he has choose me and its my turn to show him that he choose me cause i can do it!!!
Thank you God for you are such a loving and wonderful God... I will not turn my life away from you... cause is because of you i'm here..... And i only live for You not others....


At times we may be blinded by our feelings and emotions.......
but at the end of the day...
Just remember...
God is still with us.....

" And those who know Your name will put their trust in You;
For You, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You."
Psalm 9:10

Have faith in God for he is a faithful God....
Just wanna encourage all that is reading this blog to think bout it ...
for christian's pray that you will have more faith in God....
because with faith even as small as a mustard seed can move mountains....
and as for those non-christian's hope will will take this opportunity to get to know this wonderful God and love and cares about all of you......