Spur of a moment...

4.51 a.m. just couldn't close up my eyes now, even though it is so late night already.

Having quite a bad  health condition nowadays,

ulcer...

migraine...

diarrhea...

insomnia...

Plus I'm just bother by too many things that is happening around me now. Especially with people and also myself   struggle...

Just can't help but to just flash back how much road that I've taken and walk till now. Things that I see, things that I've experience throughout these few years of walking with God. Well God always had His way of reminding me stuffs. For example, God always remind me about how shitty I am and how much stupid things that I've do all this while, especially when things are just going too fine. Well in a way, I find it not that pleasant but well at least God is reminding me that I still have a lot of touch up to do in my life even though I see things like they are well and fine. But reality check, my life isn't what I think it is, there are still a lot of aspects that needs to be cover up, such as my on going weaknesses of ego and pride. Well just only this two weaknesses I can already make everybody dislike me in just a few minutes time.

Was thinking back more and more, trying to figure how did this ego and pride come in thee first place. But well whats the point of thinking bout it if I'm just trying to find a source to put the blame on only but not trying to figure out what I can do to overcome this unhealthy character that can drive people nuts. As I think more and more, I find that yes there was a source of where this kind of bad attitude come from, but in the way, I gave in so much that it had became a part of my life. And all I did was complain complain and complain. There was no solution, no revelation, no resolve in it those things that I whine and complain about. And at this very moment, I realize that I was so ignorant all the time even until now I still do.

The ignorance cause me a lot of pain and unwanted memories from the past, and it still affecting me until now. And currently I'm really so in pain because of my ulcer that is located near the right end gum. The whole face is swollen on one side and I can barely talk to move my jaw. Really hope that things can just work out better more now. But well life is control within our hands and also God's. If God allows it to happen it will, but still we need to take our initiate to do so to see the outcome.

well I guess I'm quite worn out now...

 can't blog more but will update soon enough ... 

till then.

Happie birthday pretty one =)

Happy Birthday miss lovely Juliet Chong Jia Foong

a.k.a

Jingjungjingjungjangjangjang XD

Happie sweet 19 <3

Randomness again...

Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

1 Corinthians 13:7

Faith will make us stronger...

Feeling a moment.

It's kinda late now. 4a.m. and I still can't put my eyes in to a resting state. Too much things in my mind spinning around now.

Well was watching youtube and accidentally found Kate Voegele's clips. So decided to watch it and I can say that it was quite relaxing. It's been awhile since I heard such harmony and peace guitar melodies. Was thinking bout how long since I've really put my heart on my beloved piece of instrument and really find joy in it.

All the while just playing to just to suit my feeling of emo and frustration. But in the middle of way, I was lost. Forgetting what my guitar is all about. It was never for just the sake of jamming and performing. It was a piece of instrument that gave me peace and joy.

Wish I had my guitar by my side now.....

And just strum away my thoughts...

hallelujah from Kate Voegele

hope you guys enjoy this =)

Brooke Fraser

Been listening to songs by Brooke Fraser lately from her album Albertine.

Here are some of the songs hope you guys enjoy =)

Albertine

Deciphering Me

peace...

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

(Matthew 11:28)

For God is always there for us, we just need to seek for Him and ask comfort from Him.

Focus!!

'As long as it is day, we must do the work of him who sent me.'

John 9:1-11

This verse reminds me about a wonderful characteristic the Jesus owns. Single-mindedness or can be known as clear focus. It is hard to gain a clear focus on God when we have so many agendas going on around us. But Jesus manage to do that. All the time He was on earth He knew His calling and He knew His part to play in this great salvation plan the God had planned long time ago.

This is one of the quality that I admire so much about Jesus. Jesus always had in mind about His job here and even when he was tempted He manage to just pull it through and continue to uphold God. At most of the time, I just can't manage to do so. Always caught up in my own agenda and tend to just ignore God. But just have to bear in mind all the time, God is a sole provider!

Just like what happen just now, mom called and scolded me for reasons of me spending over money and decided to cut my allowance. At first, it really made me think," what the heck man, I'm really saving up so much already yet you still wanna cut my allowance around 40% of it, how am I gonna survive?!?!" But thinking of it now, God is the main provider but not my mom. Without God providing my parents how can they provide me. And at that moment I realize that I focus on money more than God. Please Forgive me oh Lord.

God is the one that we should focus on rather than other stuff. We always think that this can't happen that can't happen but with God everything is possible accordingly to His will. Whatever I have now, God is the main provider and definitely He can take it away from me also is He wants to.

'Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down on the right hand of the throne of God. Consider his who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.'

Hebrews 12:2-3

By fixing our eyes on Jesus, that we know God has everything well planned for us and we can just depend on God fully and follow His will accordingly. God is not a sadist God but He is or great God, great provider to all of us. So just focus on God, for He will not let any of His children into despair. Let not the voice of devil influence our minds to focus on the worldly stuff but we should just focus on God alone. Amen.

May our hearts and mind will always set focus on you Lord as you are the main provider but not others. And with You everything is possible as we know that You are awesome and great. And your love for us will keep us alive and not make us perish.

Love our enemies...

'But I tell you who hear me; Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you....'

Luke 6:27

As time passes by, God always instill more and more thoughts in my mind, telling me that I have this to overcome that to overcome. And this post responds directly to the last post that I've post which is forgiveness. When we say forgive, we forgive those who wronged us by reconciliation and make peace with them. But there is a greater calling beyond apply the heart of forgiveness. Which is Love our enemies, to good to those that oppose you.

Well 1st thing when I get this verse from God, I was like whoa!! Hardcore stuff man, God you are really testing me to the limits. As further on, I began thinking about people that wronged me, people that I dislike, people that annoys me, and the mind of this things just kept on coming and coming and coming. Well certainly I can say this is not easy for me at all!

But why love our enemies ?

'If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?'

Matthew 6:46

It is stated in the bible clearly, what is the reason behind loving our enemies, the people that despise us, people that we dislike or hate. If we were to love someone that love us also and that we have good impression towards the guy/girl, wouldn't it be easy? since we are okay with them. There is no need of like putting any extra effort just to try to even communicated with the individual since we are okay whit each other.

But on the other hand, loving your enemies, now this is a though call. Imagine how can we try to love someone that we hate and despise so much, knowing that the person might have wrong us so many times, until the unbearable extend. But God tells us to love these kind of people!! Why? It's quite simple yet hard to do actually. If we were to love someone we already love it will be easy to accept them but, if we were to learn how to love those we hate, we really need to calm down our hearts and put everything aside to just try to accept them and care for them. But by doing show, it shows a more genuine heart because although it was hard to accept certain facts about the person that we dislike, we try to put effort in trying to understand more bout them and try to help what ever we can do.

It will be hard but is shows more of a genuine heart.

If Jesus can love us so much even though we are the one who put Him on the cross and crucified Him, I'm sure that through Him we can learn more and be more like Him. Definitely I can say it's impossible for us to just love our enemies just like that But with God everything can be done. Jesus came down to show us all this ways, ways of loving those who persecute us and those we despise. And as a follower by all means, we should try to learn more about how to be a obedient follower and try to be more like Him.

So may we learn more and more on how to love our enemies despise that they had wrong us at most times, God is love and as Christians we should learn how to love those who had wronged us but rather than just dwell ourselves in the midst of anger and revenge. Love covers everything, and with the help of God nothing is impossible.

Forgiveness...

"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift."

Luke 5:23-24

It has been 2 years since I accepted Christ as my God, Lord and Saviour. Through out this walk I can say that I've gone through quite a lot of problem due to my disobedience. But God is graceful, for I did so many wrong thing that had made Him upset and even at this moment I'm still making fault can causing Him to be disappointed at me. Which leads to todays post about forgiveness. It's something that is easy to say but hard to be done.

Why forgiving people is important ? Ultimately it is because of God's love and grace towards us sinful men. Jesus came down to show the true way of walking our life as Christians and for our sake He was crucify on the cross and His blood had wash all our sins away making us able to connect with God again. We should know that we are so bless because although we had sinned so much but yet God's love and grace had given us salvation and we are all forgiven as long as we repent and follow Christ.

Knowing that we are all forgiven by God's grace, shouldn't we be doing the same rather than displeasing God by judging others and not forgiving them by holding on on their faults and wrong doings? Through out my walk as a Christian I can say that this is one of the part that I'm lacking of. The heart of forgiving towards others. Even though I always said it's okay no offence taken, but at most of the times I just can't seemed to really forgive the person that have wronged me. Even as time passes by my grudge still withholds at times. Mainly this problem come from my pride and ego which thank God that He is helping me overcome it at this moment. Really pray that I can overcome this weakness of mine and advance further towards God's kingdom.

Going back to the topic.Why is forgiving that hard ? It is because most of us can't even forgive ourself to begin with. We are always aware about our own faults and most of the time when we repent and we keep falling back on the same spot which cause us to feel diminish and unworthy to accept God's forgiveness. And unable to forgive ourself we are also unable to forgive other as when we see our weakness on other people. By continuing focusing on our sin and not thinking of ways to overcome it will just lead us to a more negative part of our life which we will keep on dwelling on our faults and distancing ourself for God.

"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."

(Matthew 11:28)

For God had already teach us the right thing to do when we wronged Him. is to repent and asking God to help us in overcoming our weaknesses rather than keep saying sorry to God and dwelling on our own faults. What is the use of dwelling unto the past when we can't do anything except sulking and being emotional. The right thing we should do is to focus back on God and God will definitely help us go through this walk together.

By learning that we will eventually learn how to forgive others also. God had forgiven us so many times and yet we had failed Him most of the time, so if we are still unable to learn that from God, we are really unworthy of being forgiven by God. As a Christian we live in a big body Christ and our job is to help those which need our help. And if we do not learn how to forgive those who had wrong us in past how can we help them when we ourselves have grudge on them. We should take out the splinter in our own eyes before looking at others. This is how Jesus was when He was on earth.

God had forgive us long time before all of us are born, and we should take a repenting heart to seek forgiveness and let not Satan affect us by using our own faults and pull us down. God forgives and with a genuine heart for God definitely we can overcome our weaknesses with God's help. And if we know how good is God definitely we will try our best not to repeat the mistakes again to hurt God, and by knowing God's grace to us, we as Christians should also learn the true ways of forgiving other as how God had forgiven us at the beginning.

May we know of our God's amazing love and grace and also learn how to apply it in our daily life's as we get more closer to Him. Let not our hearts be influence by Satan's lies because Jesus already won the war long time ago. We are all already forgiven and we should learn how to forgive others.

Humility

'

..... he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples feet...'

John 13:5

How often that we think we are better others? In terms of academic, family background, wealth, relationship with others, our knowledge toward God's word. This is off something that is seen in our daily life's. We always compare ourself with others and judging them, labeling them accordingly to what we see with out naked eyes. And with that we become selective and choose people that we feel comfort to help with, at the same time being ignorant towards those of doesn't give benefits for us.

From time to time we are labeling people, giving them names and we just ignored those who are lesser compare to us. But, this is not of what God wants! In the bible, it was show through Jesus that he lived His life as a leader which serve other regardless of their ranks and status. This lifestyle of Jesus is the way of life that we should follow. By serving others and helping those who are indeed rather than kicking those group of people aside and just ignore every single one of them.

The quoted verse above is from the story when of Jesus knew Judas was going to betray Him but yet he still teach serve them and was his feet knowing everything that is gonna happen next and at the same time He taught the disciples to do of the same thing to others also. From that passage we knew how Jesus is. Jesus is fully man but also fully God at the same time. But He showed to all of us what is the true meaning of being a Christian, which is to serve others and helping others but not of just doing things and claiming glory to ourself.

But nowadays what are we doing ? Instead of serving others like how Jesus taught, we took up the pride and walk another way most of the time. Being a Christian which means to be more and more like Christ but not just being a worldly 'cekap' Christian. All of us should humble down ourself and serve others like what Jesus did.

'I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sends him.'

John 13:16

We must always remember that God is our master and He is of Pure and Holy. we can never compare ourself to Him. He is our master and as followers we are to be submit to Him. It was never like go and serve those who you feel comfort with, but it should be go and serve those who are indeed. And to do that we must learn how to put down our pride so that we will always remember that no matter how great we are in God's eyes we are all of the same, filthy sinners and displeases God.

I know most of the time its hard, I often struggle in this part also. Always thinking highly of myself and just being plain ignorant to those which of I feel is lesser than me and I will just look down at them. But those are the people that needs my help more than any of my other friends. Pride kills, seriously and only by humbling down ourself only we will learn how to love others as how God loves us in the 1st place. We sinned so much and yet God loves us so much, and we who don't deserve any of God's love at the first place should also helping others to see God's love for them instead of just being selfish.

We are all of the same, our body is covered with sin. But by God's love and grace we are given a second chance. As a true follower of Christ, we should instead of taking the love to ourself, we should show others about God's amazing love and grace and guide them into God's kingdom. And we are to remember that we are not any great, but we are disciple of Jesus, and as a disciple our job is to follow what the masters says and being submissive to our master.

So may we know that we are not worthy of being love by God what more becoming His son. But we are given a second chance by God's grace and love. And as His sons we should follow His command and His way of servanthood. Because without God giving another chance we are all definitely going to hell.