Sigh.... Im so worn out already.... and things is just not turning ok at all....

wish everything is just a bad dream and I will wake up soon enough and end this nightmare....

But, I guess this ain't dream at all.... is the truth....

sometimes truth is very hard to handle... but then, what can I do? I wan't to hold on, but she don't wan't to.... I wan't to let go, but I can't do it.... my heart aches everytime I think of it....

Oh LORD just please tell me, what should I do?

stay and fight a good fight of faith.....

or....

leave for the good of each other(at least this is what I think of for now..)

but at the end.. If you are reading my blog... that is if you are...

just wan't to tell you...

I've never regretted in loving you until now.....hope you will come back to me....

Love you forever and always....

Somehow.. I just hope i could turn back time....

Wind back to the very begining where everything hadn't happen.... and stop everything....

All this while I was so positive it was the right choise that I had made... but now... I doubt bout it alot, is it really the right thing that I had decided during the brink of that moment..

I really wonder......

Things might turn out to be better I guess if I handle it properly that time. Sigh....

Sorry for everything.... I couldn't be the right one I guess....

need a break!!

seriously man I need a break....

like just can't be at peace at most times, from time to time we just kept on moving and moving foward. There is just too lilttle time to take a rest, could only afford to take a short break...

ahh.... really hope I could jsut get away .. .get away from all this noise in ly life just for few days ...

really wanna relax and enjoy...

wish i could be here now

the caribbean

arghh i need a vacation desparately =(

So fast it's already week 13 in university life!!!

woah~~~ time flies just like that ... just 2 months ago I jsut started university and poof now I'm soon taking my finals and having my 1st university semester break!!

well its kinda fun thinking of semester break, but still back to the reality I have a exam to pass man !!!! just hopefully i can pass the exam will good scores =) at least a B lol....

well nothing much wanna share here for now so till the next post =)

God Bless

GEt in tune with God

Another inspiring preaching from Rob Bell...

Hope you guys enjoy it =)

I'm back.....

Hey guys I'm back to blog more i guess...

it's been qutie a while since I blogged... hopefully you guys will still tune in and catch up with my future post till then =)

People always leave..

People always leave...
Do they ? guess is like that in my life... people just come in and go off just like that, feel like you are standing in the middle of the road.. seeing and observing people come and walk pass you..

Really wonder how does it feel? when you have a close friend for even once.. and you thought that it will be a very beautiful friendship that will be long lasting, but just at that blink moment, the things that you always thought that will be there is soon to be not there... feeling of loss every single time you give in, and you only ended up being lonely....

I really hope for a really long lasting friendship.... but so far is like majority of my close friends just come and go... and even when we try to keep in touch at the end we just lost contact... just today got to know bout my friend might be leaving for further studies in a so called better university.. when I heard that, it felt like something really hard just hit on my chest... and i was thinking, what another one leaving!! Gosh I'm running out of close friends...for that moment I just feel so upset, don't even know how to react... all I did was just kept quite and did not even say anything. I know that I have no rights to tell my friend what to do and decide for my friend, but deep down in my heart I just really hope that this friend of mine could really stay.... is not easy for us to build up such a good friendship and now know that my friend will be leaving ... I'm really feeling super upset till the max..

Some people might think is just a friend.. you can make new friends again =) but as for me, I know that is really hard to find a friend that can really click and talk and also share your heart with. I really treasure this friend of mine. And just wanna thank you for everything that you did to support me as a friend. even when i gave up on something, you can always make me take back what I say and strive hard for it....
If you are reading my blog, I just want you to know... having you as a good friend is the best thing ever since I came down to study in kampar.. so just wanna thank you for everything, every support and encouragement that you gave me ... thanks alot =)

And yea, I really hope that you can stay... will be super upset to lose a friend like you...
Anyhow, things are still blur but one thing that is I'm really glad to have you as my friend all this while.... thanks alot friend.

People Always Leave........ But I say, Why not stay for awhile longer ...

Kampar life ~

Just came back from Ipoh... back to the super duper hot place.. kampar....
gosh what is wrong with the weather man... its so freakin hot plus plus there is alot of haze now days... have a feeling that I might fall sick again =___='

Feeling so random again... but this is the 1st time I blog outside from my comfy room... ahhh miss my air conditioner so much ... the cooling air ... but now I am so hot and sweating and feeling sticky... yucks.. guess you all can imagine how it feels ...

Its already been 3 weeks since I came down to kampar to do my further studies... now
I'm entering week 4 .. gosh is it me or is it time in Uni passes faster than six form life... so pack up with assignments assignments and still assignments!! Oh Lord save me please ....

Plus just too many things happen and still so many unsolve business ... starting to feel stress again... And I guess that's somehow good and bad in a way ... Good is I can motivate myself to keep on going and striving towards my dream bad is I might go in to depressing state again .... hopefully it won't happen again ... it's a nightmare for me ...

but well dispise all things that happen and deep shit that I step in ... still in a way i feel calm and relax... maybe because I know that God is looking over me =) I'm seriously really really glad to have God with me ... thanks alot God for providing securenss for me ...

well nothing much to say for now... sry guys been very busy with Uni .. will soon update me bloggie ... till next time ...

chaoz~~

Mixed feelings

Can't sleep well...
Don't feel like doing anything...
Don't feel like eating that much...

It's been a though month for me, and yea I think I should a break by blogging out my feelings and thoughts =)

SO many stuff, unwanted stuff just keep coming in my life.. And I kept wondering why is it I'm going through such a heartache period? Is it because of my fault ? peoples fault? or is it God that send all this trials for me to build me up?

Well till now I still take it a God giving me lessons though trials, well I guess God won't send things that i can't handle to me. Well then what am I so frustrated about ? Gosh, I don't even know why ...

Im just sosososososo lost now, can't concentrate in every stuff that im doin.

Lord please help me... I'm really torn apart now... DOn't know what step to take next..
Just pray that God You will just clear out my cloudy mind .. and show me what is the truth.. the answer for the question that I'm asking all along... I'm just so sick and worn out....

Upset & Sorry

Love ? does people really know what is love ?
Just thinking of that makes me unhappy... I don't know what's the main reason for my anger but I'm just really angry and piss off when I hear and see people treating love like 'trash'!!!


well back to my topic.. WHY?? WHY ?? WHY?? why is the mentality of human now days so low... as i said from my previous post, Love is something that is so sacred.. Love show us how God care about all of us!! God is LOVE!! everything begins with God's LOVE!!! so do you see the connection??? Even in our life's, without Love we can't survive that long, everyone needs Love .. True Love I mean...

Something happen today that really upset me a lot. I got a call from my friend knowing the my friend feeling was being play by some person that my friend likes. Hearing that sores me even more. And I really felt like I was useless at that moment cant even say something that can make my friend feel better, just wanna appolagize to you if you are reading my blog. I'm sorry I'm not in any good help in this, I'm really sorry.....


The LORD is close to the heartbroken...


so don't worry ok? God is always with you and He will definately lift up all the sadness that you have.. just stay strong =)


sorry I'm emo-ing also already..
thats all for today..
till next time..