Seeking for forgiveness.....

I bet each and every people will do something wrong sometimes.... no matter in an intentional way or not....the point is... we all will make mistakes.....


Yesterday something happend between me and her..... we just broke up again 2 days ago... and that was the final decision made by her and also me.... but the reason for broke up as you guys know ..... is just like too hard for me to accept somehow..... and we argue bout that many times already.... and i said something very very awfull when i was angry that time... i know although that time i was angry... but i should control my anger and not to blast all my feeling on her... that make it so unfair to her.....i regret for what i've said.. but its too late to pull back my words already....


then the next incident happend yesterday night.... because my feelings that time was still kinda unstable .... i boycott her the whole night during the drama pratice and did not talk to her..... besides that i also showed her the unhappy looks like she had done something reeally bad to me.... and i know that is very bad and i think i hurt her very much that time... beside that i think she is very disapointed on me already... for all the time the boy she think i good person... did something that awful to her.... deeply in my heart i felt very guilty......


i can't just stop thinking bout what happend last night..... i am very regret for what i've done to her... i really do... i really hoped for her to stand infront of me now to slap me... scold me ... curse me..... that i think will make me feel batter .... because what i did last night was very cruel even to a girl that broke up with me..... i should not had followed my emotions and do all those stupid retarded stuff..... i am really really sorry wfor what i did.... but now... she don't wanna talk to me already... won't reply my calls, smses......and that makes me felt more worst......


But now, i don't think it matters anymore.... because i think she is angry with me already.... won't talk to me also....i don't care if she is angry to me or hate me... all i wanted is just for her to forgive me...... forgive me for my actions.......what i've said what i've done.... i know nothing will change your mind even though how many time of sorry i said... but please i wish and beg for your forgiveness..... please forgive me even if it takes 1 yea, 2 year, 3 year and more..... i jsut hope someday you will forgive me.... i reallydo... other than that... i don't hope for anything more... those things i said i know is harsh a cruel and i still spill it out..... i felt sorry and regret that moment all the time...... please regret me for my childish action....


sorry is all that i've to say now.... last night after that... iwent out with my other friends..... and that time i think alot bout what i've done.... and i realise what i've done all this time was wrong......those stupid actions.....stupid words that i've.... i just can't stop blaming myself until the day you forgive me....... but even youdon't forgive me at least please.... please scold me, slap me , hit me , cruse me....... that will make me feel better .... as long as i know what is in your mind now.... don't hold your sad feeling bout me inside ur heart..... is not worth it to be sad about A JERK like me......


please if you are reading my post...... give me some respons.... i don't mind if it is positive or negative i jsut hope you will forgive me...... i am sorry.......