Friday, August 3, 2007

Desparation only leads to regretments

What does it takes to fulfill our hearts desire?? Do we humans feel satisfy when we obtain or achieve our hearts desire? The answer is definitely NO!!! N...O... NO!!! We human are always not satisfy about all sort of things.... our school... our studies... our teachers... our friends.... our parents... and the most important, our life..... All around the world, there are many people who are fated more worse then our life's.... people like those which lived in poor countries.. war happening .. people starving.... but yet the reality is, compare us with them we are much much lucky than them, but somehow people just don't understand this fact and bragging about their miserable life's..... Our desire for more and more just can't stop... the greediness of human heart can't be kill or demolish..... we can only control the greediness of our human nature... and that i can say it is not easy at all....temptations are all around us.... who else in this world can be sure to say that they are not greedy????



People who has strong heart desire can also be known as desperate in the not so nice way.... felt kinda sorry to say so.....These people will intend to do all they can just to reach their goals....even by betraying their most trustable friends.....These are those people which are normally hated by people.... After all, i was once called a desperado... sigh.... but things have change.. i am no longer the old me... and now people recognize me as another person....as in a better person.... so i think is good to resolve and keep on improving.... Well sometime you can't blame those kind of people... because they wanted people to recognize their existence... so they try many things just to gt attention from others... i am once like that so i really understand their desperation... but if those desperation for power and also status.... i think they should really change their mind.... people will often choose you as a leader when you prove to them you are capable of handling things nicely.... so don't use other way to reach your goal.... always use the original way .. that's is hardworking and responsibility.... you can succeed with applying these values within you..... we can control our desire for all kinds of things if we try had enough to make it right....for me i think i am capable of doing these except for love.....

To be honest.... i am not a person who is very good in this kind of things... although i had been through this kind of things for many times but..... i am still very stubborn when it comes to this matter..... actually i myself also don't know why am i so stubborn in this kind of stuff..... maybe because i am always trusting people too easily... letting them budge in to my life very easy.... well i am those person which trust the friends very much.... because for me friendship is very important to me..... on the other hand finding some that i love and loves me is also very important.... because for me that's is the person that i will trust most beside my best friends.......or on the other hand you guys can say that i am a desperado or whatever..... i don't mind... because i am really desparate for love... maybe because i am lack of love since i was born.... not living with my parents... my parents never cared much about me....only provideme in financial support... and that is also limited to a very small amount...... i still have to work part time sometimes to earn moremoney to support my life..... is not easy being a teenager like me.... well ithink is because i can't get the love i should get from my family so i tried to get those feelings from another person....but everytime i triedto open up for the people i love.... it all ended up in an unwanted way....till now.... i am already losing much faith i have to put my trust into other people...and those people just keep on disapointing me..... its really sad.. getting disapointment again and again...... just can't hold back my feelings already... i am already on my limits ......


Last time i mention my broke up with my girlfriend...... well apparently we manage to get back to gether... but it was jsut a veryshort period of time.... the both of us broke up for real already..... and i can't do anything besides trying to comfort myself... making myself feel better....but the feeling is still as worse as ever.... well imagine you get dissapointed by the girl 2 times.... and the same reason is used..... well is not easy to handle it...... for sure..... and now the feeling of love has became hatred, anger, jealousy, sadness and a lilbit of love only....i kept on doin wrong things when i see her.... doing stupid emotions acting very childish everytime i see her... but that time i was just blinded by my sadness of getting disapointment...well as time goes on... ifelt that there is nth i can really do already... other than hoping she will be happy in the future... now all i need is her forgiveness..... i hope when she see this she will forgive me... for all the childish and stupid actions that i've made......i just hope that she will forgive me... and i won't bother her anymore.... now and forever... me and her has nothing related between each other already.... she is she i am still myself.... thats all i can say..... nth more....somehow now... i really need her forgiveness so that i can really start to move on without her..... if she does not... i will still be trap in the guilt i've commited.... and till then i am still feeling guilty each and every moment....... so please if you are reading to my blog... forgive me..... deeply in my heart i really felt sorry......i mean it.........

Desperation always leads people to do thins that is totally out of mind...... and make their life misserable... including myself i am like that.... just can't forgive myself now.....so i hoped for the people out there that read my blog... will know that sometimes.. its really a wise choise to let go... eventhough is the most harsh and hardest choise...... letting go will be the wises choise ....only with letting go we can free ourselfs from thoes frustration and totally pain memories of our's.....by letting go... all of the misseries that each sides holds will also fade away as time passes..... so letting go is the best choise...... it took me a very very long time to resolve to this choise.... lots of pointless and harmfull words i had said to her... and i still regret it.... sometimes i will wish for the time to turn back and let me fix the harm that i've done.... making a good girl like her suffer through this is just too unfair for her already.... i just hope i can take away all her pain and suffer now... and put it on to me... at least she will gain happiness and live happily without having those misserable memories.... i could do anything just to let her had a nice life.... away from this painful memories.... ia msorrry again for leading you into this .... i really do.. just i hope you will forgive me and let me make it up to you..... and then i won't bother you anymore....

Some people said once that life is too short.....

Many things that we wish to do but ended up not doing it.....

Regretments and disapointments will come upon all the time.....

But we should not let those feelings crush us down......

Learn from mistakes that we've commited and resolve from it....

though is not easy....

but the results of resolving thorugh our mistakes will made a large difference to our life's...

so don't look back even a second...

never ever think that is too late to change.....

because there is always a second chance for all of us......

The past is already been decided.....

But the future hasn't..... there is always a light in every darkness.... to lighthen us and guide us trough the right path.....

so don't give up no matter what the out comes are....... remember that......





1 comment:

Cher Hong said...

true values in a leader is humility and communication..
and this is the toughest lesson to learn..

but anyway well written post,
really have grown neh u?

but jux wanna let ya noe,
sumtimes wat we see is often diff from wat ppl see..
stand in ppl's shoes and look at things,
u still got a lot of work to do there..
dats true..

and jux wanna share dat although people's love are often fleeting, temporary,
there's one dat is eternal..
which is God's..
try it^^

anyway all the best in life..